Coming out in the dark

Today is mother’s day. This is the day i came out to my mother. I told my mom that i am a lesbian. I didn’t really plan it, it just came out. We were having the mother’s day dinner after watching spiderman 3. I asked her if she loves me, and she said yes and asked me why i asked her that question. Then, she started talking about the people in her church, those who are lesbians. I felt that she already knew that i’m gonna talk about that. I told her, “Why are u saying those things to me? (the lesbian people in her church)” she said, nothing. Then i told her straight to her face that i am a lesbian. Her eyes were teary eyed but then i continued to smile. I told her that i’ve been like this ever since i was in grade school. Then we talked about things in the past and future plans. I cried a bit but laughed eventually.

It felt so good because she did not condemn me. Of course she said the usual things like “how are u going to have a family?” “who’s gonna take care of me when i get old” etc… She still believes that this is just a phase in my life and i’m gonna change and marry someone. I can’t blame her orientation, that is her socialization. Even though she’s still in denial, i am happy. REALLY, I AM HAPPY. I am thankful for having a mom like her. She may have flaws but I love her and she loves me.