I feel happy because there are some ppl and things that make me happy. From simple things like reading my favorite author jeanette winterson, logging on to the internet everyday after work and listening to rock music to the teeny bopper things like seeing my eye candy butch everyday at work. Everybody needs to be happy right? This is needed to survive. This realization of seeking happiness from simple things or even teeny bopper ones came in when everything sank in: that I am single, abandoned by my ex girlfriend and nobody gives color to my life. I’m sorry i cld not find another euphemism for the phrase abandoned by my ex girlfriend. Well anyway, i realized that I am seeking happiness and so I am getting it from different things. It’s human nature ( if there is such thing as human nature) for us human beings to seek happiness whether it may be another person, a thing, a song, or what have u. From what I can remember, i’ve been seeking happiness to other things or persons when my ex girlfriend and i were still together and we’re not seeing or communicating w each other for abt a month. That helped me to entertain the feeling that I am getting used to being without her and that I can be happy without her. It’s true, when you’re in a relationship sometimes u focus ur happiness to that person. Everything u do with that person makes u happy and whatever things that u do without her makes u unhappy ( bec you’ve got the feeling that it wld be much happier if she was here with me thing.. u know) Well it shd be 1st person ok let me repeat. Everything I do with that person makes me happy and whatever things that I do without her makes me unhappy. Oh no, here I am again being dependent to another person. This is the biggest mistake i’ve done in the past and I am doing it all over again. But of course, I did not overdo it like before. I left some love and respect to myself that’s why it was easy for me to let go and move on with my life. I don’t wanna be like before became miserable and lonely when I can be happy with different things.
When I was in Cavite ( which was like a few hrs ago), I was happy bec there are 2 ppl that were texting me. One was a cyberfriend from way back 2006 in which our relationship as friends or acquaintances didn’t materialize bec of my girlfriend then. In short, dinispatcha niya ito using my own cellphone and another one is a colleague of mine at work. Both of them were communicating with me at the same time. I felt happy bec I am gaining ppl to talk to ( from the lesbian circle, though cyberfriend claims she’s bi), u know those ppl who belong to my kind of flock. Would u call it flirting? Hmm maybe. There’s nothing wrong with a little flirtation especially now that i am single. It made me think, am i ready for this? Or am I on a rebound? One of them, actually asked me out. I said yes. that’s not bad right? It’s not as if we’re gonna live together, right? It’s been a month since i started my singlehood. that’s fine.