happiness is libresse

I feel happy because there are some ppl and things that make me happy. From simple things like reading my favorite author jeanette winterson, logging on to the internet everyday after work and listening to rock music to the teeny bopper things like seeing my eye candy butch everyday at work. Everybody needs to be happy right? This is needed to survive. This realization of seeking happiness from simple things or even teeny bopper ones came in when everything sank in: that I am single, abandoned by my ex girlfriend and nobody gives color to my life. I’m sorry i cld not find another euphemism for the phrase abandoned by my ex girlfriend. Well anyway, i realized that I am seeking happiness and so I am getting it from different things. It’s human nature ( if there is such thing as human nature) for us human beings to seek happiness whether it may be another person, a thing, a song, or what have u. From what I can remember, i’ve been seeking happiness to other things or persons when my ex girlfriend and i were still together and we’re not seeing or communicating w each other for abt a month. That helped me to entertain the feeling that I am getting used to being without her and that I can be happy without her. It’s true, when you’re in a relationship sometimes u focus ur happiness to that person. Everything u do with that person makes u happy and whatever things that u do without her makes u unhappy ( bec you’ve got the feeling that it wld be much happier if she was here with me thing.. u know) Well it shd be 1st person ok let me repeat. Everything I do with that person makes me happy and whatever things that I do without her makes me unhappy. Oh no, here I am again being dependent to another person. This is the biggest mistake i’ve done in the past and I am doing it all over again. But of course, I did not overdo it like before. I left some love and respect to myself that’s why it was easy for me to let go and move on with my life. I don’t wanna be like before became miserable and lonely when I can be happy with different things.

When I was in Cavite ( which was like a few hrs ago), I was happy bec there are 2 ppl that were texting me. One was a cyberfriend from way back 2006 in which our relationship as friends or acquaintances didn’t materialize bec of my girlfriend then. In short, dinispatcha niya ito using my own cellphone and another one is a colleague of mine at work. Both of them were communicating with me at the same time. I felt happy bec I am gaining ppl to talk to ( from the lesbian circle, though cyberfriend claims she’s bi), u know those ppl who belong to my kind of flock. Would u call it flirting? Hmm maybe. There’s nothing wrong with a little flirtation especially now that i am single. It made me think, am i ready for this? Or am I on a rebound? One of them, actually asked me out. I said yes. that’s not bad right? It’s not as if we’re gonna live together, right? It’s been a month since i started my singlehood. that’s fine.

Wave 9 team building

Well, i’ve just arrived from our very first team outing. 😉 night swimming, inuman at videoke. It was a blast, i really enjoyed being w my team mates. This is the first time i’ve been with them outside Makati.. We went to molino, cavite.. lapit lng pala nun. galing. i’m lucky i had colleagues like them.. too bad joey and kat weren’t able to make it.. sayang.

So slow Sunday

It’s another NU 107 soundtrippin’ sunday. it’s nice to hear my old favorite songs which i have forgotten that i’ve liked them. I’m just bumming around here at home. I started my Sunday blues at abt 5 am morning on the net, just coming home from a night out w my former colleagues in Eperformax.. WE went to Grilla in Kalayaan had a few drinks then sang our hearts out in Prov. Went home at abt 5 am, thx for Mark Chu for dropping me home.Good thing i saw Gli, a good friend of mine, in Prov. Updated some stories and then part ways. I slept at abt 630 am then woke up at 11 am and went online again.. Continue reading “So slow Sunday”

Here’s a toast to a new life

Well, it’s been a long time since i blogged. 48 yrs na nung huli.. i don’t know if anyone cares abt what i think but what the heck! For as long as I can type 85 words per min and you’re slow in typing hahaha.. But does my mind process fast as my fingers can? hmmm bahala na.

So, what’s new with me? hmm, I have a new multiply ( apart fr the multiply w my ex). wala lng, just a symbolic action that we got separated. Does that need a symbolic action? heller.. So there, we broke up. She broke up w me. Well, I don’t wanna bash her here bec there’s no bad thing to say naman eh. I believe rationality prevailed when we broke up. No dramas. No “I hate you, hayup ka!!!!” Walang ganong drama. Well maybe that is the reason I don’t even cry. Yes, i feel sad abt it but I don’t really cry. When I’m at work, i am focused on being the employee of the mth.. hehe.. That’s what my colleagues say, they know that I am supposed to be undergoing emotional breakdowns. I read lesbian fiction, go out w friends and meet new ppl esp lesbians in the workplace. Well of course, i still feel sad. The moment i go home, lie down in my bed I think of her, yeah that’s normal. That’s why I don’t wanna be alone, i shd be either busy or talking to another person.