Last Week It Was Ebe, Now Bamboo? (How to Deal With a Band Break Up)

Bamboo during the MTV Exit gig in 2009

Ok, ok. Now here it goes again. It’s the season of popular and influential vocalists leaving bands. Although it is heartbreaking for us fans to hear this, WE MUST MOVE ON. Band vocalists have their personal reasons why they have to leave their respective bands. If it’s heartbreaking for us, it is definitely heartbreaking for them. Oh, sorry, forgot to tell you that Bamboo (the band), allegedly has called it quits as of today, Jan 10, 2011 (according to KC Montero’s tweet). On the other hand, Sugarfree hasn’t called quits yet, many say that they are not disbanding yet and that Ebe will be the only one who’ll be leaving the band. No official statement from Bamboo yet. Let’s wait and see.

I’ve been on this situation before when Ely Buendia left Eraserheads and then the band eventually disbanded. It was earth shattering, tears fell on my eyes when I learned about the news. I was young then and still hopeful that it will only be a short period of time. I was on denial. I couldn’t accept the fact it’s all over. The first few weeks and months are usually hard.  It’s not easy to move on. Same also when The Dawn first disbanded. Hearing your favorite band disband is like being told by your lover that your relationship is finally over. We have coping mechanisms and here are some tips on how to deal with a band break up:

1) Do not judge at once. One will definitely ask “Who’s the airhead this time?”. Usually, the vocalists are being blamed on being “airheads”. Pumasok na daw sa ulo ang kasikatan at nagyayabang na. Well, vocalists are the most visible and most recognizable. One can’t blame everything on the vocalists. They carry a lot of burden too in representing the band. Know your facts if you have the capacity to do it. Don’t immediately think that someone’s at fault.

2) Try to keep an open mind if the band has chosen a new vocalist or band member. In case the band decided to keep its name and find a new member, accept it wholeheartedly. We cannot say that the previous vocalist is better than the new one because they both have different vocal styles. Music is very diverse and if you only listen and don’t mind who’s singing, you’ll appreciate the song even more because you’ve discovered a different perspective in this new vocalist’s style. I know it’s hard to accept but give it a try. If you don’t like it, don’t bash right to their faces. I know, I know, we have our own opinions but at least respect them.

3) Listen to other bands. If you can avoid listening to this same band, the better. I remember crying whenever I hear an Eraserheads song being played on the radio after the break-up. There are lots of new bands who are interesting enough to watch. Try looking for another favorite. Malay mo, may mas ok pa.Leave your cassette tapes and CDs behind muna and then when you’re ready, listen to them all over again and reminisce. Listen only once in a while. Parang sarap lang na babalik-balikan.

4) Let them be. If you’re not in speaking terms with anyone with the band, don’t bug them with questions about their disbandment or if someone left. Chumempo at konting busina sa pagtatanong. Wag makulit!

We as fans need to learn how to set our limits. We do not own them although we are their direct consumers of their musical productivity. We cannot dictate them how we want them to be. Change is inevitable. We need to grow as much as the artist needs to grow.

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